I'm noticing details more. The world looks different. Plus, I have started seeing things I don't think are there. Or rather, they are there, but they're not what they appear to be. I'm probably just insane.
I have been enjoying photography a great deal for the last several years, in particular since Cas gave me a brand-spanking new Canon DSLR for Christmas last year. I had been complaining for a while that my old digital camera - a very nice, if somewhat old and worn out Kodak that is now discontinued - was not able to do the things I wanted to do with it. I guess there was a kind of creative gap between what I was seeing (there I go again) and what the camera was able to see. Or so I thought, anyway.
The new camera is better. It is more versatile, more fun to use, looks cooler (yes, that matters), and I can come more closely to approximating what I think I see when I use this camera. And that's just with the kit lens! Now I'm complaining that I need more lenses, a better tripod, and yadda yadda yadda. I really do need a new lens to be able to zoom in on people on the street, but it seems to be going well for now. I sometimes have to get a lot closer to the person than I want, or (as in the photo above) I sometimes have to do some creative cropping. (By the way, if you recognize this woman or the people below, please let me know so that I can contact them. I think they might like to know that these photos are here.)
Now I have to pay attention to the light coming through the lens - aperture, sensor sensitivity, shutter speed, etc. The last camera wanted to do it all automatically, though by the time I was done with it I was keeping it on manual settings most of the time and trying to set these things. Not easy with a point-and-shoot camera, but kinda-sorta possible.
And through the learning curve this involves, my new camera is having another interesting effect on me. Yes, it lets me take more interesting pictures that are closer to the ones I want to take. But it's also making me see the world more in terms of its details and juxtapositions. Rather than merely taking in the whole crowd at the Tam-tams in Montreal yesterday, I spent time looking around at the individuals - noticing people's facial expressions, the way they moved, the ways they positioned themselves in relation to one another. I don't think I saw my world as much, previously. And, even though I ended up using a lot of black and white in the final versions of the pictures I took, I noticed not just the light and shadow, but the colours.
Yes, I also enjoyed the music and dancing, the sun on my skin and the friends I was with.
But this added dimension makes it better, I think. It's somehow deeper, if that metaphor makes any sense (I ought to be able to find a better one). This is one of the many discoveries that have started coming along as I am getting older, and one I wish I had turned up when I was 17 rather than 47.
Or maybe I did and lost it somewhere in the middle, along with so many other things, in a haze of hormones, bad religion and raw emotion.
